Childhood 8 : Lessons

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Lessons

I was told:

I am young,

I am small,

I am weak;

I was told:

I can't sing

And can't do math.

I laugh now

But then it stung

Really bad.

Now I know

I am strong.

Being a child,

Being a girl,

Being short and fat,

Is not wrong.

I am stronger

Than you think --

My Spoken English

Made you mad

But it's not bad

Not if I speak

Bangla too

And Hindi, yes

And French, soon;

Someday I

Will beat you down.

And you who love me

But still said

That it's okay,

If there are

Boys around

To do my share,

To leave me be

Without work --

Even where

I could learn,

Even if

I need to learn.

You will see

What I can be.

There is no

Alternative.

My quality

Is mine alone:

No boy, no girl,

But just me.

Think sometimes

Of things you learnt

Before you knew

They existed.

They could be wrong,

I could be right.

I don't deserve

To be left behind.

I'm not a mean

Of the world.

I am a single

Random sample --

Statistics

Don't work on me.

I am one,

Not the world;

Not every woman

With long hair;

Not every student

Of my age;

Not every person

From my state.

I am me,

An assemblage

Of everyone

I've ever met

And everyone

I ever was

And all I am

And will be,

All combined

So precisely

That there's no one

Just like me:

Look at me.

Figure me out.

I'm non-trivial

So take your time.

Let me teach you

What I am.

I might be

Young and small

But about me

I know best.

You'd know better

Of all the rest

But me one-o-one

Is my thing.

There's no textbook.

There are no notes.

You have to think,

You have to work.

The assignment

Is simple, really

Let me be.

Let me learn.

Let me work.

Let me grow.

Let me shine,

And wait and watch.

Judge me only

By my work

And perhaps

By my love

But not by what's

Inside my pants,

Or the length

Of my hair,

Or my age,

Or how I speak;

You must learn

Not to care

Of things outside

This curriculum

That I've built

All these years

With my blood

And tears and sweat.

If you must judge

Then it becomes

Compulsory

To do it right.

Learn me from me

And nothing else

And no one else.

Don't analyse,

Don't generalize.

It's necessary

And sufficient

To believe every

Word I say

When I'm talking

About me.

And then give me

Space and time

To walk the talk,

And you will find

Your all important

QED.

I am prepared

To defend

All my claims

Of ability,

But not my life:

Not my clothing;

Nor my fat;

Nor my hair;

Nor my love

For Pujo, Tagore

Or hilsa fish --

It's out of syllabus,

Forget it.

And if you need

More assistance

Ask the fingers

That scrape my head

From inside

Until I wish

That I was dead..

...told you, sir!

I'll surprise you

If you'll only

Hear me out

When I speak

About me

And dare to listen

Carefully.

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